Monday, April 20


you either hate it 
(and spend hours on hate websites being very scary and 
stalking peoples lives. making assumptions and being very mean girls)

*takes breath*

or you love it.



i love it. i do

and ill tell you why

1. i didn't know i had one until i began getting letters from you
sweet cheeks around the world. everyone loves mail

( this especially coming from the girl who use to stuff chocolates in her
apartment mailbox so if there was no mail i would still walk away STOKED )

2. its a way to connect with loved ones near and far

3. its like a journal that doesn't forget things.. because
goodness knows ill forget.

i couldn't even tell you what i wore yesterday

4. because its a vessel for me to continue doing missionary work
and inspiring those around me

5. meeting girls and hearing stories about how I in some way
inspired them to serve, reactivate or become stronger in the church
i love so much

so. why am i not doing it?

gooooooood question.

here is an explanation and a thank you to those who
have kicked my behind more than once into blogging again

those who emailed

grabbed me in public settings 

literally shook me

and my ever so motivating husband for pushing me to continue 
doing what it is i love to do

missionary work.


if your looking for fashhhioonnnn

not here.

if your looking for recipes

i google all of mine and have about 3 that
i have deemed burn proof. so i keep em close

if your looking for adventures other than netflix
marathons and my beautiful mess of a life

walk away.

ive promised. promised and promised
i was back and back at it. 

but time and time again something stopped me

i observed strangers I follow changing, exaggerating and polishing
up their lives to become more likable and "bloggable".
Things I knew even as a complete stranger could't possibly be


i saw how having e.v.e.r.y tiny detail of your life could be
picked apart, misjudged, trashed, flipped around
!@#$^#(4! <---- sortof in that motion

and i just became so turned off with the negativity out there
and felt super exposed and uncomfortable

like WHY!?

stop it. staaaap it.

(seeing a post where someone commented that they had located
and found where each family member of mine lived)

some of my cute fam.


by all means. I'm not very creative but i can help
y'all find a hobby

I had three people ask me this week if I would go and do it all over again. And when I answer.. those same people think I'm absolutely crazy because we both know that in my honest heart of hearts that I would go toomorrrooww afternoon if needed back out on a mission || this week in april is always bittersweet. 

It's the week I left for the MTC and has me missing not only the memories and the people but being The Lord's hands and his feet. There is no greater joy than doing his work. I sure do love being a temple worker, finding new ways to serve and share my testimony. 

This week I remembered what Elder Oaks once told me.. that my blog has and can continue to to reach so many young girls across the world and is in fact the vessel the lords given me to do his work. For whatever reason I've forgotten that lately. All the blog hating and instabashing had me a bit discouraged. 

I love my calling and serving along side my darling new companion bake.

so heres my take.

i'm going to keep doing what i love

i'm going to continue doing missionary work

not all bloggers are from happy valley and blog
to become famous, the next relief society president or 
brag about their lives or make a quick buck

to each their own

breaking stereotypes

and reminding them blogging haters that

aint nobody asked you to read

so heres to year 24

(yes it was my birthday last month i forgive you)

and being true to who i am despite what others
feel about what i am doing, posting or experiencing

so thank you.

you all know who you are <3

hopefully.. because I most likely forgot

(( see #3 ))

but ill never forget my #1

here is a recap of life as of late

bake and i are still living in our little place near the university of utah

i have proudly hung a total of 5 picture frames in the time span
of our marriage that i am proud of 

each day i unpack a little

decorate a little

then nap

then repeat in that order

our days are absolutely booked

we high five each other and see one another
for probably 5 minutes before bed each day

busy busy busy

bake is studying international business and 
is leaning towards law school

I am planning on graduating this upcoming Fall and could
NOT be more excited about it.

I recently underwent a pretty big move job wise
in the last little bit.

Some of you may and may not know that ever since
I arrived home I have been a nanny for 3 of the most
amazing children in the ENTIRE world.

I have always and will remain keeping their names and photo anonymous

The children lost their mother a few years back
in an automobile accident. Being their nanny was more
than a full time job.

You name it from dentist appointments,
overnighters, baptisms and baseball I was there.

They truly became like family to me and I'm so thankful
that the Lord put me in their path.

A few months back their father remarried a wonderful
woman and I felt it was time to transition things and
help them become reliant on the wonderful new mommy.

now. i'm not a crier. but i bawwllleddd for
weeks trying to decide to finally let go or not.


but I know that all things happen for a reason and
i felt in my heart of hearts the timing was right..
i still see the kids from time to time when the
parents travel together so its the best of both worlds.

The lord really does have a funny way
of letting you know his plan for you

I believe FULL heartily he has a wonderful sense of humor.

I found out about a job from a family member.. loved the idea of it.
interviewed for it.
got the job.
then got a call within the evening wanting me for another position
within the company totally different from the first job.

this new position was a definite UP and
i took it without hesitation.


Its such a perfect fit for everything I love to do
and I truly believe in the company and CEO's I work for.

oh. did i mention I still teach dance a few nights a week?

so like i was saying..

bake and i literally high five each other.

or combine mass study group/ friend/nap  time in our bedroom like this

I really love everything I'm doing and
even though I could downsize and change my situation
I love being busy and I love everything going on right now.

life is a beautiful mess. and we are enjoying the ride.

so heres to blogging.




am back at it.

for good.


to all those who have emailed or written me in the past
little while I am slowly getting through them and will respond
shortly! you are all darling. I am smiling so big reading all of your sweet words


and i'm posting my wedding photos this week

need a break from finals and
have finally sorted through them!

stay tuned <3


  1. Ummmm, hi. I have a blog. And feel 200 percent the same about EVERYTHING. YOU JUST. POSTED. It's my favorite way to share my testimony and my life experiences and I've just been NERVOUS about posting lately and I don't even know why. Definitely felt the Spirit prompt me to push forward - I felt empowered reading your words. Keep it up, cute girl! The Lord needs your light, and so do we!

  2. yayay!! I've probably looked at your Illume Bridals post 5,000 times when I check to see if you've posted anything. haha! Glad you're back. You. Are. Hilarious.

  3. Word. I like your posts. Law school is cool, except I'm on 10 hours of sleep from the past 48 hours. Imperfect by instagram-standards lives are the most interesting tbh xx

  4. Elder Oaks is so completely true. The positive impact you have is extremly special. I couldn't imagine how hard it is to put yourself out there and be hurt but I am so grateful. I know many others are to. I'm sure you have been told countless times how special and exquisite you are. But you just are! Have a very happy week. Thanks for keeping to sharing your words.

  5. just another one of those strangers on the internet who is pumped to see you writing again.

  6. ^ same. you're hilarious & great keep it up

  7. Thank you for sharing your life and testimony...we LOVE you and your blog. Keep being awesome. :) <3